On Halloween, Whore Beats Horror Every Time

SAN DIEGO (TNA) – Ah, yes, Halloween. It’s that magical time of the year when pumpkins get smashed, apple cider gets spiked and priests have sex with butterflies and firemen hump mimes.

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If you’re lucky, your Halloween costume will be someone else’s sexual fantasy.

More than any other holiday, Halloween gives people an excuse to morph into someone they’re not and kink it up a notch.

That’s what happened a few years back when Justin, a 29-year-old entertainment website content producer, took his girlfriend, Heather, to a private Halloween party in Moreno Valley, Calif.

The couple sported a pair of S&M outfits – black, tight and seemingly menacing – and perused the gathering throughout the night, sipping pumpkin punch and escaping to a bedroom a few times for a little freak-nasty.

But Halloween turned even hotter as the night progressed. At one point, Justin walked into a room to find his girlfriend chatting with a woman dressed as a nurse – a naughty nurse who was out to make everybody feel better.

“My girl went down on me, then the nurse joined her,” Justin said, adding that he then helped Heather reciprocate the favor by tasting nurse tuna.

Needless to say, before stroking it at midnight, Justin tagged his woman and gave the nurse an injection to remember.

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A woman dressed as a cheerleader may want you to play with her pompoms.

“[The nurse] reached up and felt my load all over her ass,” he remembers. “It was so hot.”

Although some folks get lucky by showing lots of skin, you don’t have to dress like a slut to have a wild Halloween. In fact, subtlety sometimes works best.

According to New York-based sexpert Logan Levkoff, anytime people have the opportunity to dress up, including Halloween, they tend to do things they may not do on a day-to-day basis.

“We have to become someone we’re not in order to be who we are,” she said. “It’s your total get-out-of-jail-free card.”

Levkoff believes that sporting something creative and sexy is more likely to lead to a Halloween hump than an outwardly slutty costume – such as the typical whore-like cop or French maid.

One example she offered was the idea of dressing up as Mother Nature, in which a woman could wear a body suit with fake bugs in wild-looking hair.
“It’s sexy, but not over-the-top,” she said.

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Women are hot for firemen — or guys dressed like one.

She’ll get no argument from Maria, 22, a college student in San Marcos, Calif. She had sex at a Halloween party last week with a guy solely because he was dressed as a priest.

Maria, who was dressed as a butterfly, said the priest even kept his white collar and cross on during the consummation – which she says was a big turn on.

“This guy’s a real dirty guy, but I had to do it because of how he was dressed,” she said. “It was the forbidden fruit, I guess.”

Despite that, Maria was cross at how her holy encounter ended.

“The actual sex wasn’t that special,” she said.

It makes sense that a priest outfit might bring out a Halloween ho’s kinky side, but other outfits can be erotic in ways you’d never expect.

Take, for instance, dressing up as a member of the cast of “Scooby-Doo.”

That’s how it worked for Sarah, a film producer from Atlanta who turned herself into Velma from “Scooby-Doo” last Halloween and hit the town with three friends dressed as Shaggy, Daphne and Fred.

The kinky quartet took first place in a bar costume contest, before stumbling back home. That’s when “Velma” and “Fred” broke free from the friend-zone and started to “Doo” each other cartoon-style.

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Some ladies who dress as French maids really want to French kiss.

“Daphne passed out on the couch, Shaggy walked home and Fred and I shagged in his bedroom,” she said. Zoinks!

So don’t feel completely weirded out if you decide to tap-that-ass with your best friend or your best friend’s sister, especially if you’re dressed like Captain Jack Sparrow and she’s dolled up as the Bride of Frankenstein.

In fact, it may be wise in horny Halloween situations to lose your inhibitions without losing your costume, according to Levkoff.

“In a weird way, it seems emotionally safer to keep the costume on so you avoid rejection,” she said. “Imagine how scary it could be if you took the costume off and said, ‘Holy crap, I was wrong.’”

That means even butt-ugly people can still get laid on Halloween without being dressed like a lusty-looking Jack-O-Lantern or a 13-inch gourd – as long as they know how to treat their trick.

Ross Jefferies, a self-professed pickup artist in Culver City, Calif., says guys looking to score Halloween tail should worry less about their costume and more about how they approach the chicks they desire.

For instance, Jeffries says the best way to hit on a Halloween hottie is tell her how wearing masks allows them to take off another mask and express what they really feel.

“Whoever bites down on that will bite down on you later,” he said.

But while Halloween can be a time to fulfill kinky costume fantasies, sometimes bringing to them to life can be painful in ways you can’t imagine.

That was the case for Darryl, a 45-year-old real estate agent from Coeur D’Alene, Idaho, who was hit on by a woman dressed as a mime at a Halloween party in 2005.

She played her part and remained silent, but pantomimed everything – including giving blowjobs and downing shots right in front of him in his firefighter costume, he says.

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Dressing up like Mr. Clean is sure to bring your partner’s dirty side.

“She just kept doing this raunchy version of a Marcel Marceau act,” Darryl laughs.

The woman stayed true to her mime character by keeping quiet throughout the night, until they went to her house and started getting down and dirty half-clad in their costumes, prompting her to scream with passion.

Afterward, Darryl, looking at the woman’s face – painted even whiter than its original mime-white – asked her, “Aren’t mimes supposed to be quiet?”

She didn’t take too well to that and slapped him hard with her white-gloved hand.

“For a while, I thought I’d have to have my jaw rewired,” Daryl said. “Needless to say, we never talked again.”

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